Listen up boys, because this ain't important:
Always remember, today is the first day of the rest of tomorrow.
It's now time to lay down your cards and pray for snake-eyes, because after
this fat lady sings, Jack Sprat's gettin' the hell outta Dodge.
So when you think you're luck's just run out, look up and search for that elusive albatross.
Nothing is impossible if you set someone else to work on it.
Practice makes frustration, and always wear clean gloves to the opera.
Do ya feel lucky, punk? Well, let's find out...if that bottle of foot powder is less than four dollars, then you've won a trip to Candyland.
The survey says: sheep are more attractive than pigeons.
Don't ask what your country can do for you, ask what your country is doing behind your back.
Make love, not whores.
It's always funny until someone gets their sense of humor poked out.
What doesn't kill you only makes you angry.
We all have one purpose on this earth: to annoy the living hell out of someone else.
Have you had your cake today? Well don't try to eat it, it'll give you worms.
Are you men or are you fried rice? You're nothing but a sock cooking, tree scrubbing, son-of-a-motherless dust mite who ain't worth his weight in uranium. Now what do you have to say for your health?
Cigarettes aren't addictive, they just make you want to die if you can't have another pack.
When the winds die down and the dead wind up, what're you gonna tell your mother?
That's what I thought, a bunch of horse flies, eating their way to the center of the earth. Have you ever heard of anything more diabetical? I hives.
One day a man walks into a bar with a duck under his arm and the bartender says, "I can't believe he thought I was a priest!"
Well, why do we halve steer?
This guy's three quarters short of a half-dollar. Why, thank ya.
I was inspired on Sunday, October 06, 2002
