Finding Myself
I look where I can, trying to find myself.
I look to you, hoping you can find me.
But I know it's a struggle I must face alone
And must endure until I know it's truly me.
Can I find myself in you, or will I get lost
In your complexities and forever lose my own?
What if I find love in you?
Can my love for you be the key to my own soul?
So I sit alone in the dark and pry my own heart.
Finding what is there, I cry my own tears.
In silence I am left alone to ponder,
And in silence I am left alone to discover.
I was inspired on Saturday, November 30, 2002
Wow, Now He's Hardcore
Tough guy waiting outside the show,
Lighting up as his sXe tat glows.
A fine example of fashioncore!
Approval is all he seeks anymore.
Won't dance in the pit, he's too cool;
Just starts fights with some little fool.
Looks around to find his crew
Before giving a guy what he's due.
Wouldn't even think of standing alone,
Needs them behind to pick this bone.
And he's ready to do the same for them,
Jump some kid though he has nothing against him.
I shake my head and turn away
And pray it gets better some day.
I was inspired on Monday, November 25, 2002
Spoken Love
Sea breezes and ocean swells greet me
As I listen to the water's whispers.
They speak of unknown wonders
And brag of unseen treasures.
Not treasures of the world,
But treasures of the heart.
A letter still lies in a dead man's pocket,
Never seen by the eyes of his true love.
The shell of the man sheds eternal tears,
As her heart breaks anew every day.
Both spirits broken by war,
Both ravaged by the hate man feels.
At the bottom of the ocean he waits for her,
And she still stands on the balcony, watching.
These decades have yet to phase her,
Her strength has yet to fail her;
And she will wait for him,
And he will wait fo her,
And love's true kiss will never
Pass again between their lips.
Two lives destroyed with one life lost;
A man brought down.
Two souls torn asunder;
A woman down-trodden.
And hope shall never return to either
For both have given their all,
And both have seen hope slip away.
Tears will fill the ocean forever.
I was inspired on Thursday, November 21, 2002
I'm Psycho
I'm a bag of shit with no future, no drive to press on
I have nothing to speak of and can see nothing ahead
I disappoint not only myself, but others as well
I can't even stumble through this life without knocking them down
There goes someone else, shining brightly, hopeful, longing;
And I slop behind, dragging my knuckles, face dirty with defeat.
My rags hang off of my body and I tear them more,
Just to look more pathetic in your eyes.
Do you pity me now? Am I low enough to kick?
KICK ME! I WANT YOU TO KICK ME!
Why can't you just kick me when I'm down?
Don't I deserve to be treated like this? Aren't I filth?
I would crawl back under the rock I came from
But it won't even take me now; I'm too low for it.
So kick me while you have the chance, before I finally burn out.
And I will burn out one of these days...you'll see.
I was inspired on Friday, November 15, 2002
Heart
Is this pain, or only disappointment at a feeling lost along the way?
Will I recover to once again feel this longing in my heart?
I want to want you, but you seem to forget me when he comes by.
So I must move on and hide my wounded chest and severed heart.
I told myself this would happen, but was blind to my own advice.
I want to feel, to love, to belong, but I'm too quick to trust with my heart.
And now I'm paying the price once again, but will soon forget
When another comes along and I again hand over a part of my heart.
All I want to do is curl up on my bed and cry till I can't see straight.
But I can't stay down that long and rise once more to scar my heart.
So I come before you, still covering the gaping wound with a bloody hand
And hope to hide from you what remains of my broken heart.
I was inspired on Sunday, November 10, 2002
No Labels
So you turn your back on Him
The one that saved you, bought you.
You don't want to be labeled
Don't want to be persecuted like Him.
Career over God, greed over grace.
Non-offensive is how to play the game
If you want to get along with them
And not truly win in the end.
For once you deny Him, you hide your face
And He does not know you
As tears fall from His eyes
And He closes the book
With you standing outside the Gates.
I was inspired on Sunday, November 10, 2002
They Don't Know Me
They say I haven't truly felt pain,
Never been out in the real rain,
Don't know anything about life,
Haven't even lived to face strife,
Can't comprehend the future
Or view the past's torture,
Relive the days gone by,
See friends and relatives die,
Lose hope for tomorrow
While dwelling in my own sorrow.
But I have...
I was inspired on Friday, November 08, 2002
My Fight
Have you ever brought a knife to a gunfight?
How did it feel as the bullets pierced your skin?
Did you fall down like those before you,
Or did you rise above the pain and endure?
Have you ever brought a gun to a knife-fight?
How did it feel as you saw them fall away?
Did it bring you pleasure as they felt pain,
Or did you simply destroy because you could?
I've brought a gun to a knife-fight,
And I've used a knife in a gunfight.
I've seen it both ways, and neither is right.
But we were all too blind to see it that way.
I will never bring a gun to a knife-fight
And will do the best I can with my knife against his gun.
I may lose like I have before,
But he may lose himself and let me win.
But I don't seek to destroy.
I will fight my fight when there is one before me
But I will never go looking for one, ready or not.
I have been torn down and built up again
And I do not wish do do either anymore.
I was inspired on Friday, November 08, 2002
Tell Someone
by The Anonymous Poet
How many times have you wanted to give up,
Looked at your wrist and thought how easy it would cut?
How many times have you wanted to stop,
Walk into a police station with a gun so you would get shot?
How many times have you wanted to quit,
Drive through the red light, hoping to get hit?
How many times have you wanted to die,
Then thought about your parents and how they would cry?
How many times have you made a list
Of why you would even think about this?
How many people have you told?
You're only 15, but you feel 30 years old.
How many times have you expressed
that you are stressed and feeling depressed?
How many lives will you change
When that bullet goes through your brain?
How many people will you hurt
When, at a young age, you're getting covered with dirt?
Everyone else wants you here.
Believe it, they really do care.
So whatever you're feeling inside,
Tell someone...dont turn to suicide.
I was inspired on Wednesday, November 06, 2002
Forcing the Lies of Ages on the Ageless
Lies beget lies, and everything starts again.
The youth are fed what we wouldn't even feed ourselves.
And we wonder why we're spiralling downward.
No control over the molding of their minds
As we hand them over to the state to be formalized,
Roboticized, lobotomized, structuralized, and dehumanized.
They learn what it's like in the real world
Before going out and failing with their arcane knowledge.
And we wonder why they're jobless.
We form a nation of helpless so we can feel superior
Despite our own failures as model citizens.
We set double standards and expect them to pull their weight
As we sit on their backs and scream in their ears
That they are worthless to us because they fail
Where we have not even dared to tread.
We judge them where we feel we stand blameless
Despite the blood on our hands and hatred in our hearts.
But we don't move to change.
No, we don't like change.
Change means what we know is gone, and something takes its place.
What would we do without this helpless prey?
Nobody to pick on, to demoralize, to blame for society's downfalls:
For your society's downfalls.
We need a scapegoat, and here they come,
Like lambs to the slaughter.
Oh how we shower in their blood!
I was inspired on Wednesday, November 06, 2002
Untitled Song
It's a hardcore song, so you just gotta bear with me and try to imagine it in your head.
What is love? Is it this emptiness I feel inside?
What is love? Can I see it, touch it?
What is love? Is it even a reality?
What is love?
I've seen this hole in my soul.
I feel a longing for love.
I reach out to grasp it,
But it slips away.
What is love? Is it this emptiness I feel inside?
What is love? Can I see it, touch it?
What is love? Is it even a reality?
What is love?
And I came to You on broken knees
And I see just how it should be,
So I pray in Your name,
Oh Holy Son of God.
A new man rises from the flames
I seek out your will:
Break me, make me.
I feel love!
This is love! It is the wholeness I feel inside.
This is love! I can see it, touch it.
This is love! It's my reality.
This is love! This is love! This is love!
This is Your love.
I was inspired on Tuesday, November 05, 2002
Hiding
Confronted by images of hate and desire
Of burning Hells and swirling pits of fire.
I stare in disbelief at the carnage before me
And am torn apart by the horrors of what I see.
What has the world come to when we cringe
At viewing the souls of those on the fringe
Where we force them to dwell in their own hate
Until the day we realize it's too late?
Products of our own quest for fulfillment,
They brew in their pain, their hearts ferment,
Until their anger comes alive for us to view
And everything is again desolated anew.
And now I hide from those rejected
In fear of their wrath to be erected
To take form in violence against me
Though I have done nothing to ignite thee.
So we cower at our own creation
Like Frankenstein in his desolation.
I was inspired on Tuesday, November 05, 2002
Love's Lonely Ending
Love is such a f*cked up thing.
Don't know if I'm right or wrong.
What does it all mean when I feel this way?
Is it true or am I turned upside-down?
Trapped in a feeling of want and need
While spinning in a world of lust.
I've never been so lost before;
I can't even see from where I left.
So another season passes with nothing gained
And another chapter ended with nothing to my name.
And I kneel beside my bed, my head lowered, and pray,
With tears in my eyes falling on the sheets
And soaking in, as I wish my sorrows could.
But I am here to endure all of this, once again.
So I cry out, "Oh, why me?"
And only silence answers my cries.
So where will I be a year from now?
In love, no doubt, fallen once more.
The trap persists, and I persist to blindly go forward,
Only to learn my mistake one more time.
If nothing else, my heart will ache
And pleasure will escape me.
I was inspired on Sunday, November 03, 2002
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