Really, What Was I Thinking?
Maybe I wasn't; brain on lay-away:
Making payments till I die.
My heart over-rode my mind
And now I lay, emotions bare.
For better or worse, the facts are out
And now is when the test begins.
"To be, or not to be?"
I've always feared that question.
'Tis nobler to open wide
Than to silently cry inside.
I fear my future, but laid waste to my past
And cannot look back at the path I made.
But one day something will happen
And I will cry tears of joy or anguish.
I await that day with anxiety
And hide my heart deep down inside.
And now I see the day coming,
The sun rises, red in the sky.
I was inspired on Thursday, January 30, 2003
Mayday
Crash and burn, I'm going down:
I've lost control of what I know.
I thought I knew where I was
Just a few fleeting moments ago.
The impact may kill me quick
Or lift me up on wings anew.
The consequences are frightening
But there seems to be nothing I can do.
Let nature take its course
And gravity will pull me in.
But while I fall I pray a silent prayer
As I hold my thoughts so close within.
"Not my will, but Yours be done,"
Slips through my lips as I fall.
I see it coming, but can't slow it down,
As it rushes up, a solid wall.
And I hide my thoughts from those around
To avoid judgement and regret.
What if my fear meets mockery?
What if I never finish my plummet?
I hope I never feel mockery
And I hope the fall will last.
But falling twice at once is hard:
It seems as if I fall twice as fast.
And I do.
I was inspired on Monday, January 20, 2003
